Doing God'

God look at my down times.

It has been a long time since i updated my blog, for those who reads my blog, i am sorry about it, and it also means that i have already in the Singapore pace of life, getting tie up with work, and lots of other stuff. Really miss those carefree life in oz, just need to think of exams, and projects, now i have struggle with lots of other factors which is so real to me.

As for those who i really spoke to they know that i am now having a great struggle with the world, because the world wants prefection in everything, and status, power, money comes into the picture, i am tempted by all these stuff as you have the capability to earn money, you tends to see what other can do and why they can do it better than you, or should i put in another words, why they earn more than you at such a young age?

Ya ! I know what a lot of people would really wants to tell me , and i told myself too, dun care about the others, your treasures is in heaven, but do you all know that what is appearing in front of your eyes are so real, compare to those you cannot see, maybe i am lack of faith, or struggling with tempetation. My elder once asked me what i have been doing, and i told them that i am still involved in BB and going to get myself more involve in the church youth. They shocked me, but telling me that at my age now should focus on earning "BIG BUCKS", because alot of young people like my age has already starting to build up careers and earning "BIG BUCKS" and why am i still so involve in all those time wasting stuff which dun leads to earning "BIG BUCKS". Guess whats my answer? I just said 3 words in a small voice. . . . "God Will Provide".

Don't Whine

After graduated from the University, i got a decent job and now having a stable income. Recently there are a few things that really hits me, things like "How to gauge success in life?" and is "rich means power and status". As what Christian going to say, i am going to conform to the world. I watched the channelnewsaisa and they are showing the young successful people, people at my age earning millions of dollars, and having their own family business, no doubt that you would said that it is their family business but the thing is, i felt that why i can't match up with them? I was wonder why some people can be so successful and why some people like me can't. All these thoughts kept going and going in my mind and making me craZy.

Then something hits me, is the Youth ministry bulletin. It was my first time attending that ministry.

The title is "Don't Whine"

It goes like that . . .

Don’t Whine!

Today, upon a bus, I saw a lovely girl with golden hair,

Envied her, she seemed so gay, and wished I were so fair.

When suddenly she rose to leave, I saw her hobble down the aisle;

She had one leg, and wore a crutch; and as she passed – a smile.

Oh God, forgive me when I whine

I have two legs. The world is mine

And then I stopped to buy some sweets.

The lad who sold them had such charm,

I talked with him – seemed so glad – if I were late ‘twould

do no harm

And as I left he said to me: “I thank you. You have been so kind.

It’s nice to talk with folks like you.

“You see,” he said, “I’m blind.”

Oh God, forgive me when I whine

I have two eyes. The world is mine.

Later, walking down the street, I saw a child with eyes of blue,

He stood and watched the others play, it seemed he knew not what to do.

I stopped a moment, then I said:”Why don’t you join the others, dear?”

He looked ahead without a word, and then I knew

-- he could not hear.

Oh God, forgive me when I whine

I have two ears, The world is mine.

With legs to take me where I’d go –

With eyes to see the sunset’s glow –

With ears to hear what I would know –

Oh God, forgive me when I whine

I’m blessed indeed. The world is mine.

When you feel down and depressed and thinking God has given you too many troubles. Why not to think about the things you do have. Just this one little idea can turn your whole outlook on life for the better.

A story on Love

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am,
when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to
have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated
that he was in a hurry, as he had an appointment
at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take
a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before
someone would to able to see him. I saw him
looking at his watch and decided, since I was not
busy with another patient, I would evaluate his
wound.

On exam it was well healed, so I talked to one of
the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his
sutures and redress his wound. While taking care
of his wound, we began to engage in conversation I
asked him if he had another doctor's appointment
this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The
gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the
nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I then
inquired as to her health. He told me that she had
been there for a while and that she was a victim of
Alzheimer Disease. As we talked, and I finished
dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried
if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer
knew who he was, that she had not recognized him
in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him. "And you still go
every morning, even though she doesn't know who
you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and
said. "She doesn't know me, but I still know who
she is." I had to hold back tears as he left, I had
goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the
kind of love I want in my life".
True love is neither physical, nor romantic.
True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been,
will be, and will not be.

With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails,
sometimes there are some that come along that
have an important message, and this is one of
those kind. Just had to share it with you all.

Oh, by the way, peace is seeing a sunset, and
knowing whom to thank.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the
best of everything; they just make the best of
everything that comes along their way."

Please share this with someone you care about I
JUST DID.

Singaporean getting materalistic and proud

Recently I just met just with one of my friend, who just came back from perth for hoildays. We shared experience on our living experience in australia. One of the topic was, experiencing different cultures of people from the world, and comparing with Malaysians and Singaporeans, she found out that Malaysians are easiler to get along with compare to us, because they are friendier, considerate and helpful compare to us the more objective minded, fearing of others becoming better than us and often like to mingle with the strong and not the weak. She even said that the girls in Singapore likes to firt with the aussie there, because they have that sterotype thinking that they are cool people to mix with compare to the asians and disgust about it.

As for me i still stick to my personal thinking, because i guess what she experience are the bad attitudes of Singaporeans, no doubt to it i saw some of the Singaporeans doing that. To me i think i should not base on just that few black sheeps to condame those who are good. As for me living in Brissy was a beautiful experience, i learned a lot on giving, especially the days of pot luck, birthday celebration, house warming, helping to move house, organising road trips together and words of moivation and encouragement when we were down. Those were the good good days.

Hanging with aussie doesn't mean that it bad, there is a werid things about people, because some people might interpert that you asians always must hang out with the asians, why begin so unfriendly to the other culture, and when you hang around with the other culture, people might think that you are trying to act cool with them. It really confuses me.

As for me i think that it depends on how you carry yourself and what is your intention to it. To me is a chance for me to experience other peoples cluture and to have more friends, i have not thought of so deep to filrt with them and neither i think that they are cool cool

Is doing something beyond your limit means killing yourself ?

Is doing something beyond your limit means killing yourself, challenging yourself (because need to survive, so no choice?), or growing yourself. Now i am doing something that is beyond my limits, which i think that should be the life of an IT personel, have to understand so much knowledge in such a short time, is worst than my life in studies . . . At least the deadlines set by those blood suckers lecturers is Achievable, maybe i am putting too much pressure on myself.

How i wish that life can be just looking at the skies and admire the moving clouds, feel the wind massaging your face, that kind of freedom, that kind of relaxation, and that kind of life with no worries. There is no need to guess . . . Alex is dreaming!!!! As for now i am in the super cold air-con room , reading up my stuff, and trying very hard to absorb as much as possible, before sunday comes, because I HAVE TO WORK ON SUNDAY !!! Poor me right, i am going to miss the Bible Study group i had, the service and worship on sunday.

.:Walk with God:. - Still in the journey of servent leadership.
.:Mood of the day:. - Kind of mentally exhausted, because of all the Adobe acrobat e-book i have to read.

BrainWash !!!

BrainWash . . .
from www.dictionary.com - persuade completely, often through coercion; "The propaganda brainwashed many people" 2: submit to brainwashing; indoctrinate forcibly.

To my understanding of brainwash, is to submit to the information that is given by the source. Information comes from a source, it can be an conversation with people, books, radio, video , pictures, anything that can gives you a message, or perception of things, it can also be a message that leads to another (for example, apple = Newton, apple = ipod , apple = 'A'), so apple can leads you to think or perceive differently.

Since information can be input into the brain by so many ways, and brainwash is to allow information into your brain and change your thinking, that is why it is call "wash". So education, listening to music, watching the news, listening to sermon, counseling, even reading this blog means that you are in the mids of brainwash, whether consciously, or sub-consciously.

But in our brain we have "access-list" in it, for those people who are in IT field, need not me to explain, access-list means that you choose a certain type of information or category of information to be allowed into the brain. Since there is a certain type of information to be allowed, there also must be a certain information that you filter, so the question is what filters that information?

The filter is the access-list, just now I didn't elaborate more on it, access-list contains specific rules that determines, which allowed or deny information to the brain, (I put it in this context, so there is a bit different in the context of IT). The rules are the principle, the experience we have gathered in our life’s, the perception of the source - like the people we trust, for example if a friend recommend this product to you, compare to a salesman, the information he gave will weight more, emotions - when you are angry with that person, whatever info or advice he gave will seem to be attacking you.

Overall I would like to conclude that don't relate brainwash with religion, multi - level marketing and etc, brainwashing is in every part of our life, is just that have we want our access-list to be configured, because we do not want junk to get into our brain. When approach people who have problems and you feel like counsel that person, if you sense that you are in his deny access-list, then is better to ask him to approach other people who has his allowed access.

Leadership – Is a trained leader is like a product that follows its mold?

What do I mean by a leader is like a product follows its mold. This thing comes into my mind, one Saturday wee long teach the recruits something, and tingxuan comments on something, suddenly after dinner, it strike my mind, I guess this thoughts of mind is living in my brain, it is a mystery which I wanted to solve long time ago, maybe previously I do not have the experience to relate on. Finally I have found the meaning and understand how I can put the thoughts into words, so that it can help to relate to the others.

First of all, for those who don’t really knows me like wee long, baoshun and yee seng, you might not understand what topic am I talking about? It has been the 10th or 11th year in the Boys’ Brigade, I have seen lots of leaders and different kinds of leadership from the boys, all of them have a unique characteristics in their leadership, but at the same time they still possess some similarities. As for me I did train lots of boys, and some boys mapped my leadership and characters. People like bangshi and shuncheng really mapped my leadership and characters.

Before I went to Australia I trained another boy closely during the last Leadership Development Camp, people said that he too mapped my characteristic and leadership style.

So what is my leadership style and what are my characteristics. For those in BB, they know that I am a harsh person, and a strict person, a person who demands a lot on standards and pride on their work. My belief is when you are wrong you must be punishing, and when you are right I will reward, I don’t believe in rewarding first. You must earn your reward. To me human is bad, they must learn the hard way to get it correct, I guess to put into a better context is self – control, if you don’t have the self – control, then I will control you.

That is just part of my leadership and those who don’t understand will be mislead, as I wanted to say to those who are mislead and said that I am “devil leader”, don’t judge a person so early as you have not understand them. So for those who I trained closely with, they also inherited this behavior of leadership. Some of them grew mature overtime and understand it and they slowly changed this leadership style to their leadership style.

So what do you mean by a leader is like a product that follows the mold. Base on the above you can understand that from those people who I have trained, some part of their characters changed, leadership style and thinking mapped accordingly like me.

So why this thing happened?
Base on my own understanding and logical thinking, all of us have a person we look upon to and to learn to when we were young, or someone who we really inspired to be, so we absorb part of their thinking and doings. So as for me, they are the ones I trained, and they looked at me as a mentor or teacher, so physiologically they absorb that thinking and shape their characters too.


What I felt that a leader must be flexible and knows, what is his weakness and strength, combine with knowledge and experience, he also needs to comprehend and be sensitive to the situation, so base on all these data, he can then demonstrate a good leadership style for that situation. Situation can changed over the time, time means seconds, minutes and hours, so it also means that your leadership will changed according to time.

So when I am teaching the boys in the Boys’ Brigade, is normally on the role of CSM, and up – front leading. They must remember that the leadership I have demonstrated is best for that situation but not for all situation.

It is alright to take the mold of the leader you inspired, but you must remember that the experience and knowledge which you have gained from him, is for that type of situation for that time, and base on a lot of factors, that sometimes you cannot even see or comprehended, factors like the consideration he took note of and the other experience he has gathered all these years that makes him decide on the decision. As I have said the leadership style should changed according to time.

當你孤單你會想起誰

This is one of the Chinese songs which i like. For those who see rubbish below, because you dun have the plugin to view chinese character


曲名：當你孤單你會想起誰     歌手：張棟樑 

你的心情總在飛

什麼事都要去追

想抓住一點安慰

你總是喜歡在人群中徘徊

你最害怕孤單的滋味

你的心那麼脆

一碰就會碎

經不起一點風吹

你的身邊總是要許多人陪

你最害怕每天的天黑，

但是天總會黑

人總要離別

誰也不能永遠陪誰

而孤單的滋味

誰都要面對

不只是你  我會感覺到疲憊

*當你孤單你會想起誰

你想不想找個人來陪

你的快樂傷悲

只有我能體會 讓我再陪你走一回

TIGER TEACHING

Here is a story for you all to ponder on, enjoy it. . .

Mama Tiger and Baby Tiger were out hunting in the jungle. They had had a very productive day, and were ndow lying down underneath a tree, sleeping off their meal and relaxing in the warm afternoon sun.

All of sudden, in the distance, Baby Tiger saw a hunter coming toward them.

‘Mama, Mama, wake up!’ he shouted. ‘There is a hunter out to get us!’
‘Hush, child,’ said the Mama Tiger.
‘But, Mama,’ squeaked the youngster, ‘he has at least three rifles, some special computerized sighting scopes and other hi-tech devices to let him see in the dark. We’re doomed!’

‘Watch,’ said the Mama Tiger, ‘and learn.’

While the hunter’s back was turned, the Mama Tiger taught her cub how to slowly and silently sneak up from behind – and pounce!
Sadly, the hunter never lived to tell the tale, but Baby Tiger always remembered the lesson.


MORAL

"Technology is all very well in its place – but you can’t beat a good basic education."

Standing in the Rain !!

Have you ever stand in a rain, as the thick clouds darken the sky, and drops of cooling rain pouring down on your face, with your hands stretching apart, receiving every drops of it, flowing every parts of your body. Hearing the sound of the rain, just like a crowd of light snapping fingers, nothing, just the sound of rain. With your both eyes close. It is kind of refreshing and cleansing

THis is how i felt, when i sang a song of worship on friday. . .

Last Friday I went to the planetShakers concert. It was kind of refreshing and energizing for me, somehow it brings me to those days in BCC. They sang quite a number of songs, and the crowd was great, but still cannot compare to those in oz.

They also sang the song "Rain down", as i sang that song, i could just feel what i have describe eariler. It seem like the rain, has pour on me and wash all my sins from head to toe, is just like a dirty man has been wash and cleanse in the mids of the rain, renewing and refreshing. I was totally refresh and blessed from it.


.:Mood of the day:.
Still the same alex, with a smile on his face, because he had enough rest, plus, all the good things happened on the weekend

.:Walk with God:.
I am refresh by Him, and his holy rain.

Knowing my style of leadership from an INTERVIEW.

Recently I went for an interview in NCS, for a network engineer position. There is a few questions which I would never expected. One of the questions is about my leadership. Because from my resume he understand that at a young age, I am expose to leading people and in the army I am an officer, plus during the interview he asked me what I am proud of, and I answered leadership. So he asked me what is my leadership style and what do I see myself as what kind of leader I am.

Guess how would I answer this question. I said that, from secondary school I am from the Boys Brigade and expose to leadership at a very young age, I am currently also an active officer. In the army, I proved my leadership skills again by performing as a SAF officer, leading a platoon.

So I felt that time a leader should be able to change according to situation, as for me when I am leading boys, I would use more autocratic, because they are not yet mature and you always need to discipline them, and guide them. In the army I would use a mixture of democratic and more autocratic, because they are more mature and can ask what is their thinking and what they can suggest in that situation, the autocratic thing is due to my rank, and my needs to command them, plus the army environment would always need to decide immediate and that leads to less time in gathering information or opinion.

I felt that a leader should always kept learning and humble himself in all situation, as I say a good leader in not in leading, is good in listening and sensitive to his men and commander. To listen to men needs quite a number of experience and observation skills, is often more difficult than listening to your commander.

Keep on learning will help to increase the experience of the leader, so that next time he can have more ingredients to do a better concoction of leadership for that situation.

A week of Part Time !!!

It has been a long time seem i write my blog, because i am doing a part time now in Yio Chu Kang. For those people who knows me well enough, they can understand me that i am a person who dislikes travelling and taking mrt and bus, due to the fact that you have to see the faces of those unhapply working force, with their dark dark face on, without a single sign of smile. Plus the super walking pace, with the shoulders buming you without saying sorry, even when there is a need to 'overtake' you , they didn't even bother to open their mouth and say a polite "excuse me", i think they might have a bad breathe - so call the morning breathe.

OK!! I think i have commented too much on that, so back to the subject again. Now i pretty enjoy travelling to work, because i can spend that frame of time to do my reading, listening to music and ponder on things. In another way i am also training my time management skill. it means that i have to get up eariler, sleep eariler, use my time wiser.

.:Learning from Security Text - From University of Queensland:.

Challenge and Response Password

Response = function (Message)

It means the response is the function of the message,. Function is a pre-determine or agrred by both the User and the system. Example that the User is U and the System is S. To authenticate, let S sends a random message m(challenge) to U , then U replies the transformation, which is the response, of the message, the S validates the response.

Mood of the day
.: Kind of relax, and happy, because today is a saturday and going rock climbling later.


Walk with God
.: Prasing God !!! Going to the Healing Crusade at the indoor stadium.

Managed to recover !!!

For those people who has multiply, will know that recently i have lost something, and now i have
Snob Snob !!! 17 GB of data lost . . .
, but I have managed to reover just the operating system. So now my laptop has 2 operating system running in it.

Today i just spend half of my day trying out on the linux and how to use thumb drive in linux, the difference between windows and linux is - 'microsoft saves you alot of trouble', because the driver support, or i should say the kernel support is very limited.

Other than that i was nearly choke by my noodles, because of the Team America, i just can't believe that the stupid puppet show can be that funny. Is lame, is stupid, is retarded. Other than watching that show, i also did some reading on the security text. THis is what i have learnt.

Security text - from University of Queensland, Comp3502/7506 Information Security

.: The cost of Convenience : A Faustian Deal :.

From the reading text i have comprehened that nowadays morden technology does aid us in lots of ways, devices like (Sound so IT !!)- mobile phones, PDA, HandHeld PC, MP3 player, thumb drive, fax machines.

All these devices that can contain data has an open risk in privacy and security expolit, because people tends to store information into all these devices, that is what they are for; if you don't store information, then what for you buy it.

Informations like phone numbers, frequent caller, profile of the person, credit card numbers and even password, you be surprise how people used devices to help them to remember passwords, some user even used the same password for every thing that requires one.

Informations can be disclose simply by just some tactics applied by the geeks. Although some of these informations can just do little harm, but if you pieces them together they can do quite a number of damage in our lifes.


.: Mood for today :.

Kind of lazy to do some serious stuff, have not even sent out a resume, i can see myself got a little disappointed and depressed, maybe this is what the hokkien would say 'sianz'. I found out that when a man has no focus and no goals or achievement, he can get into this stage.

Routine of the day !!!

.: Watched the Team America
.: Learned how to use the linux, and research on how to use thumb drive in linux 9, managed to
change the interface which i want
.: Blogging
.: Check email

Walk with God
.: Bad !! Not doing the quiet time, Not been praying. Not been reading the Bible.

HOT !!! HOT !!!! HOT !!!!

As those people who knows me well, i am a person who likes spicy stuff, and deals with them pretty well, but today i had a bowl of chilli noodle, one mouth of that brings back to those days when i was a child, training to eat spicy food. Long time ago, sound retro, there is this little boy, living in his grandmum's house, everyday he would see his grandmum, playing majong, smoking, sometimes she would tell us to help her to buy a few packets of chilli noodles for her and her majong kakis.

So one day, she is not cooking lunch, and she asked us what we wanted to eat, all my elder cousins would want to eat the chilli noodles, and said "hem jo zui zui" it means add a lot of chilli in hokkein. So i followed them, my grandmum asked me the second time am i sure with that, and gave a nod. Because my cousin is just 2 to 3 years older than me, so she assume that i can take it too.

No need to guess, just 1 mouth and i cried. . .



This stall is the famous stall for its prawn noodles and chilli noodle, for those living in beach road will get to know this stall. It is located at level 2 army market. Remember just be careful with the chilli they had, else order a glass of sugarcane juice to counter the effects.

Something different today !!!

Is just another no goal day. Kind of sick of this kind of life, i wonder how and when am i going to get out of this vicious loop. At least today i did some reading, else my day would be just watching TV and playing games. TOday i managed to find my own personal space, and get out of the house, because the computer and tv is very distracting. In Singapore i cannot find a good place to spend time for myself, or find a good quiet place to just spend time reading and talking to God. Now i have found a good place, guess where, it is the library.

By reading the security i have learned something.

[+] When doing trade off, one must understand the risk may occurs, and risk accessment must be done.

[+] Humans do not always obey logic, but seek cheap actions with max expected benefits.

[+] When developing products or components, is the time spend more worthwhile then teh reaps from that product, if it is not, and not a must, then what for developing it.

[+] Decision can be benefits-driven or cost driven.

[+] Security in network is a 2 - way issues, (1) looking at the attackets view, (2) How we (legitimate users) use our computer.

Routine for today::.
.: Stayed in the library to avoid the heat. Managed to comprehen, absorb some of the readings.

.: Watched the warcraft 3 replays and practice on Orc, damn it!! Still cannot trash the normal with the Orc stat i have.

.: Send out a few resume.

Another day jobless for the brain

It has been quite a long time seem i find a long term goals, i guess the most important thing now has yet to fulfil. What happens when your brain does not have a goal? It also means that you do not have a goal in life. As for now is quite demoralize to keep sending resume out and checking the email and mobile to see that whether you have an replay message. After checking all those stuff, then i have to see the clock ticking away, waiting for time to pass.

To me now nothing to do is kind of pain, the most important thing is after spending so much money and no income coming in, it means that is kind of bad to my bank account. I kept praying and praying to God, and wonder how and wonder why, waiting for God to answer my prayers. I guess now i have to keep praying and waiting for my prayer to be answered. As what pastor said "Faith is an action".

Routine of the Day:::::
::> Sending resume
::> read others blog
::> visit the friendster and multiply
::> watched warcraft replays
::> go for a jog
::> and now writing my blog

Burning in Fiery fire

Is just another common cny gathering, and getting around gambling, talking and eating, but there is something different today is that the show Constantine is a very good show, which has quite a number of turns here and there, is just that there is too many evil sides of it, maybe is due to the demons and the evil spirit, and the name of the devil. The worst thing that makes me into this fiery fireball is that the deliberate action which wants to blow up the whole thing, that caring is like an malupulative games. By using mind games on someone you love, and this bloody method that exist here in my comfort zone, it really disgust me, disappoint me, makes me extremely angry. It has been nearly 2 months and i have been tolerate this behavior. Finally after lots of input of patience to this matter, and coax on this matter, i have finished all of it, and blew up the whole thing. Since patience and coaxing is unless and i can't hide my feeling and dun looked at it, since she wants to blow it up, i will make it so big that she cannot handle it. You all might wonder what really makes me so frustrated, so in fire.

I am in debt . . .

Just finished my quiet timem and i came through this poem. To understand more of the poem, you must read —Romans 1:8-17 first.

The poem goes like this .. .

How much I own for love divine!
How much I own that Christ is mine!
But what He did for me I know.
I cannot tell how much I owe.

This is from the daily bread, and it teaches us that Christ has given everything , even his life to us, and all these things which we can't repay Him back. But we can start giving love or other things to other people in the golry of Christ. So start giving now, even is a small encouragement, a kiss, a hug or telling someone how great they are, because you would never know that this small giving can make big difference in their lifes.

"Jesus gave His all for us. Do we give our all for Him."